Fear of Failure

More and more recently, the fear of failure has been cropping up in business.

When a former colleague in another education institution talked about team members worried about creating content in case they failed to get it right, my first response to her was if you don’t embrace the potential of failure you won’t see the opportunities to learn and develop and succeed.

People like Michael Jordan who was integral in popularising basketball and the NBA around the world in the 1980s and 1990s as well as becoming a global cultural icon said,

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Fear of failure is the intense worry or anxiety about not achieving a goal, making a mistake, or falling short of expectations. It’s a deeply emotional response that can affect a person’s thoughts, behaviours, and decisions, often leading to avoidance, procrastination, or self-sabotage.

Here’s a breakdown of what it’s all about

The Five Causes

1. Perfectionism: A belief that mistakes are unacceptable or a reflection of personal worth.
   
2. Past Experiences: Painful failures in the past, especially if met with harsh criticism or shame including in schools which this blog will go into further.
   
3. Upbringing: Highly critical or demanding environments can instill fear of not measuring up.
   
4. Social Pressure: Worry about how others will perceive your failure—fear of embarrassment or rejection.
   
5. Low Self-Esteem: Doubting your own abilities or worth can magnify the fear of failing.

This manifests itself in overthinking every possible outcome, procrastination to avoid the chance of failing, avoiding challenges or new opportunities, physical symptoms such as nausea, sweating, tension and self-sabotage which is where the person undermines their own success to avoid responsibility for failing.

So what are the consequences?

The consequences are huge for the people involved as well as those around them. There will be missed opportunities, reduced creativity or risk-taking, chronic stress or anxiety, stunted personal or career growth, loss of confidence and motivation.

The more this fear of failure continues with not trying new activities, the worse it will get harming the individual with bigger and bigger consequences as listed above.

This fear or failure is seen more often in Generation Y and Z. It is interesting to see that as the human race’s resilience levels have decreased so the fear of failure has increased; so where has this come from?

Who or what is to blame?

Social media has had a lot to do with this increase in fear of failure and looking stupid in front of peers. This is probably the biggest issue alongside the pressure dealt out from schools (and some parents) not to fail, and to pass exams or ‘you will amount to nothing’ which has not helped although schools are under pressure to ensure young people move forward through our education system and exams, tests and assessments are a core part of this whether we like it or not.

Finally, covid has caused a lost generation with lack of enrichment and social opportunities which those young people are slowly redeveloping.

But we can continue to blame or we can reframe our thinking. In the end, the person who is harmed the most is the individual with the fear of failure. Like with anything, the change starts from within so what can be done?

Six Solutions (find which works for you!)

1. Nelson Mandela is quoted as saying, ‘You either win, or you learn.’ Therefore, we need to reframe failure and see it as a learning opportunity, not a judgment on your worth, just like Michael Jordan did. 
2. Individuals need to set realistic goals and break them into small, manageable steps. If it is creating content, start small and build up to bigger projects by showing your work to other trustworthy individuals and then start to make them more public. This builds confidence in an organic way.
3. Practice self-compassion: Individuals need to treat themselves with kindness, especially after setbacks and celebrate the wins however big or small they are rather than beat themselves up about the supposed failures. 
4. Talk to someone such as a therapist, coach, or trusted friend. This can help shift your mindset. Remember therapy is all about being proactive and wanting to change your life for the better. 
5. Breathe/meditate: This helps because it allows you to channel your thoughts. If you have a doubt in your mind, don’t resist it, just simply let it go by. A bit like crossing a busy road, if the cars are flying by you don’t force the situation by running across. You simply let it flow by until the traffic dies down to then cross. Deep breathing from a physical stand point allows the body to relax. When you’re stressed or pressured your muscles will more than likely tense up. By releasing that tension your body goes into a state where it feels at ease and thus you will too.
6. Self-talk: The mind is such a powerful tool. Self-prophecy is tough but essential for fulfillment, happiness and success. Self-talk in a negative/subconscious or even conscious way is a very slippery slope. Fun fact – Did you know the human mind processes 60-70,000 thoughts a day? 

We have to accept that failure is inevitable. Put your ego to one side to ask yourself – did I give it 100%?

Success from achieving a goal is great; failure from achieving a goal is also great. This is because you cannot rest on those moments; you need to embrace them, learn from them and move forwards.

As we can all appreciate, human behaviours aren’t always as black or white. However, defining moments in our lives are determined by two things. Either you define it or it defines you. By creating simple positive habits you can start to control your narrative or even better amplify it to greater heights.

Just remember ‘You are your only limit’.

More about health, care and wellbeing at University Centre Rotherham